Dallas Cowboys Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)


Joseph Randle's Ex-Girlfriend Dalia Jacobs

Joseph Randle's ex-girlfriend rightly filed a protection from abuse order against him recently. I've never actually heard of a protection from abuse order; I've only heard of a restraining order, but I'm assuming it's basically the same thing. So the event that led up to this an aggressive dismissal of people at a hotel by Randle followed by a heated argument in the parking lot.

After Joseph Randle's ex-girlfriend Dalia Jacobs went to the parking lot with another woman, Randle allegedly punched her car with is fist, shattering the glass and spraying it onto his son. He then allegedly took out a gun and threatened to shoot out the tires of the automobile. Man oh man oh man....If this is true, this guy is an absolute menace. I have to tell you, I believe Dalia Jacobs based on the fact that this clown was arrested for shoplifting at some mall in the suburbs last year. He tried to steal a tester bottle of cologne and a two-pack of underwear. He was fined $29,117 by the Dallas Cowboys. He sounds like an absolute moron to me. Sorry, Cowboys fans, but come on-- a cologne tester bottle?

Anyway, Randle's ex-girlfriend Dalia Jacobs said of the recent incident that things started to go bad when she started seeking child support. I won't bother to reiterate my stance on having kids when you don't actually want to have kids because what's the point? It will go on forever until humans evolve into smarter beings. Her quote from KWCH was, "He needs to step up and also help me take care of the child we made together." I definitely wouldn't want the guy around the child if he's taking out guns and threatening to shoot them around him (not to mention punching glass windows next to the kid). Now, Randle's agent and lawyer are claiming he didn't punch any glass and didn't brandish any weapon because they basically need to-- the last thing Randle wants is to get kicked off the team or face a 6-game suspension!


DeMarcus Lawrence's Girlfriend Veronica Ramirez

DeMarcus Lawrence's girlfriend Veronica Ramirez is all smiles in her photographs, and I suspect it's because her life is pretty cool. Being married to a professional football player is swell, but you've also got to pull fulfillment from one's own life in order to feel worth something, and Veronica definitely does that-- she mans the helm of a guided-missile cruiser!

Yes, that is a totally badass job. She drives the USS Antietam. This thing is loaded up with missiles of all kinds. Have you ever heard of a cornucopia? It's like a big horn-shaped basket overflowing with fruit and produce. Well, DeMarcus Lawrence's girlfriend Veronica Ramirez drives a cornucopia of missiles. There's 122 missiles loaded on her ride. The batch of missiles her ship carries has got about ten different kinds, not to mention two Bushmaster chain-fed autocannons, two Mark 45 artillery mounted cannons, four M2 Browning machine guns, a radar-guided gatling gun, and two freaking SH-60 attack helicopters! Sorry, but that's really cool.

What do you do? "Oh I'm an internet model who takes selfies of myself and tweets about my abs. What about you?" "Oh, I pilot a missile cruiser in the Asian Pacific." That's self-worth, my friends. Veronica doesn't need anybody telling her how awesome she is because she already knows. Whether she gets hundreds of people commenting on her photos that she's "so gorge" or none, it doesn't matter because she's rolling with missiles and attack helicopters. I wonder if it's weird to be on a naval vessel and have one of your officers dating a football player? I guess it's not weird per se, but you don't normally think of navy officers in that way, do you? DeMarcus has said time and time again that he's glad to be a Cowboy, and after seeing the interesting mix of people associated with the team (players, wives, and girlfriends) I see what he means.


Anthony Hitchens' Girlfriend Ashley Presutto

Anthony Hitchens' girlfriend Ashley Presutto is known throughout her school Lorain County Community College as the girl who takes left-handed selfies in her dorm room and various college facilities. Right now I'd say she's majoring in left-handed selfies, though she's also attempting a minor in machine-gun tweets. That means she tweets quite a lot more than the average Twitter user. I have Twitter myself, and I think the last time I thought I had anything interesting to say was weeks ago, but the Ashley thinks she always has something to say. She's got to keep people informed, you see.

Hitchens' girlfriend Presutto informs us about her puppy's growth and development, about how pretty the sky is, about what she wants to eat, about when she "shakes her head," and about what she likes to watch on television. But her tweets aren't bad, to be honest. She uses Twitter the way I think people first thought it was intended to be used-- to shade in the details of one's life hour-to-hour. So if you're a friend of Ashley and want to know what she's up to (other than tapping out tweets on her phone) her Twitter account will tell you. Ashley also has strong views about dogs and how they are raised, and she's right on the money. She says she hates the way certain breeds are labelled as "aggressive" when its the fault of the humans how they turn out. She would be correct.

All in all, Anthony Hitchens' girlfriend Ashley Presutto seems like a pretty cool chick based on her myriad of thoughts and messages on Twitter. Reading slews of tweets about random thoughts and impulses often doesn't yield much of anything, but some messages that Ashley has found and retweeted are interesting such as "I look beyond what people say and then I see intent, then I just sit back and decipher what they really meant." I'm sure for pro athletes and famous people, this is a big one.