New England Patriots Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)

08/27/14
 

Rodney Harrison's Wife Erika Harrison

 

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Rodney Harrison's wife Erika Harrison shares his concerns about having had his brains bashed in so many times. The man has suffered around 20 concussions over his 15-year career. That is insane. In a recent interview with Bob Costas, Harrison had some insightful things to say about the perspective of players and the possible "lightening up of rules" in the NFL in regards to safety. He essentially said he understands when players say the game is getting soft, but that's only from the short-term view of players looking to make money and take people's heads off. From the long-term view, he says, the league is trying to improve the quality of life and health of its players.

Rodney's wife Erika was once a student at Western Illinois University, and Rodney would follow her around trying to get something going. Apparently, Rodney once told her that class was cancelled as a joke, but she believed him and went back to her dorm, thus missing a pop quiz, and for a long time she was angry at Rodney and didn't like him. This type of thing will set you back if you're attempting to romantically pursue someone. Eventually, according to Erika, Rodney's persistence paid off, and they've got kids together. Will she allow her kids to play football? We'll see. If her husband's brain turns to mush, it won't bode well for future playing prospects.

Though she has not gone on record, Rodney Harrison's wife Erika is just as concerned as he is. Twenty concussions is a crazy amount. This, remember, is just Rodney's estimate, but his playing style on the New England Patriots was pretty ferocious, and he did get knocked out a few times and then sent right back into the game after taking a few Advils. Erika would be at home or, later, with the kids watching these types of things. Now, she can watch her Rodney do sports broadcasting and analyst work behind a desk.

08/20/14
 

Brandon Lafell's Wife Kristen Lafell

 

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Brandon Lafell's wife Kristen Lafell was engaged to Brandon on February 10, 2013 and got married to him on April 12, 2014. How do I know this? I creepily looked him up on their corny wedding page. I also checked out the wedding gifts they were given through their registry, and man did they get a lot of high-class shit. Kristen is probably real happy with all the stuff they got.

There's a few things Brandon's wife Kristen had to get caught up on. First, Brandon has a kid with another chick, known by in the scientific community as homos babeus mamius (or a baby mama to the layperson). It's the same old story, folks. You've heard it before: athlete doesn't use rubber, girl has kid, girl owns the athlete for 18 years. In one report, Lafell shorted her payments amounting to $23,000 over the course of about a year. I'm sure Kristen has a very one-sided view of this situation. She's got to support her man, but seen through impartial eyes (like those of a judge) he's being a deadbeat.

Which leads us to another little incident that Brandon's wife Kristen must have had a laugh about. When Brandon (who had kind of been sucking for the Panthers) got signed to the Patriots, he made some comments on Twitter that irked a lot of Panther fans. He said something to the effect of "I'm really psyched to be playing with Tom Brady cuz he's sick, and he's way better than the Panthers QB." A lot of people with no lives figured it was worthwhile to bitch at him, so he "retired" from Twitter for a month. Again, I'm curious what Kristen would have said to him about the thing. If she cared at all, which she likely did not, she should have told him "dude you're kind of a bonehead."

08/13/14
 

Jerod Mayo's Wife Chantel Mayo

 

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Jerod Mayo's wife Chantel Mayo is preggers with another junior Mayo. The couple previously had a daughter in 2010 and a son in 2011. So that's at least two confirmed times that Jerod and Chantel have had progenitive intercourse. If you were thinking maybe they'd never done the deed before, think again, pal. They've got the offspring to prove it. Well, I suppose there is a chance the two kids and the one baking now were all artificially inseminated and Jerod and Chantel still haven't done the deed, but come on, get off it already.

All tomfoolery aside, these guys are cool customers. They've done a lot of charity stuff with United Way, and they even filmed a public service announcement for a help line in New Hampshire. So if you're ever up in New Hampshire and feeling like life just ain't worth it no more, and you happened to have seen a PSA with Jerod and wife Chantel Mayo in it urging you to reconsider by dialing a special number, you may have a slightly better chance of pulling through now. The couple have also done other stuff to help poor kids. I get the feeling Jerod is a really good dude, and it's not just because I'm a Patriots fan, okay? Chantel will tell you. She posts uplifting things on her twitter account all the time.

Here's one by Chantel that she put up just two days ago:

"If you treat people better than they deserve, you empower them to become better than they are... be a blessing."

I dig it, Miss Mayo. I'm going to put that one into practice some more here in Brooklyn. The neighborhood needs it. Here's another epic one from Jerod's wife:

"And two will become one flesh... Although my husband has to start training camp today ON our anniversary... what a blessed day it is to relax & reflect on our journey... And all that God has blessed us with... As I type this I'm feeling our 3rd baby squirming around in my belly... And I realize... Today couldn't be a better day."

Jesus, somebody give that lady her own self-help show! I'm feeling like I want to start going to church or buying a bum a sandwich or something. She's got the whole use of ellipsis down and everything for full dramatic effect. Let me try out the Chantel Special REMIX:

And two and two become four... Although my math has to start getting better ON the day of the test... what a blessed day it is to study and measure equidistant lines... And all that Newton has taught us about... As I calculate this I'm feeling our 3rd textbook rattling around in my bag... And I realize... Today couldn't be a better day."

The woman has cracked the code for inspiration.