Seattle Seahawks Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)

11/20/14

Michael Bennett's Wife Pele Bennett

 

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Michael Bennett's wife Pele Bennett married him in 2012 after eight years of dating. They were wed in Hawaii, and Pele is called a local girl by Hawaii newspapers, but she claims to have grown up in Houston, so I guess she was born in Hawaii and moved to Houston early on. Her statement about having the wedding in Hawaii went as follows: "Although Mike and I both grew up in Houston, Texas, Hawaii holds a place in our hearts for many different reasons." How about because it's way nicer than Houston?

Some controversy surrounded this couple a few months back, but before I get to that I'd like to point out the good community work Michael and his wife Pele did for the Ocean Health festival in Oahu, Hawaii. Bennett paid for the entire festival which apparently helps local families in Hawaii understand how to eat and live healthier. I would be willing to bet that Hawaiian cuisine is really tasty. I'm imagining  all kinds of fried fish topped with coconut shavings. Michael also did a charity benefit for obesity awareness.

Anyway, let's get to that controversy: Michael and his wife Pele abandoned their four-month old boxer puppy at a dog daycare. The couple formerly lived in Tampa, Florida while Michael was playing for the Buccaneers, but when he got traded to the Seahawks, they moved to Seattle and decided to just leave the dog at the daycare and never take him back or return any calls or anything about him. They then decided they weren't even going to pay the $5000 bill they had racked up by doing so. Then, a judge ordered them to pay over $8000, which they then ignored again. Finally, the judge sent out a warning telling them they'd be in contempt of court if they didn't address the matter, so they ended up having to pay $15,000. So on the one hand the couple does good things for humans, but on the other hand it seems dogs don't factor into the equation. The daycare found a new owner for the dog eventually, but he went a year without one.

11/11/14

Jon Ryan's Girlfriend Sarah Colonna

 

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Well folks, Jon Ryan's girlfriend Sarah Colonna is a bigger deal than he is, and it's pretty clear that the Seahawks mascot "Blitz," would agree. Fortunately, Seattle's punter wasn't afraid to call out the gigantic bird on his shenanigans by saying:

Hey Blitz next time u cozy up to my gf put that "situation" back in ur pants.

Now, I like Jonny Ryan, but Sarah is an all-around talent. For starters, she's a New York Times bestseller. Granted, what actually qualifies as a "bestseller" by NYT has always been somewhat dubious and hard to pin down, but this lady's got some talent.

Jon's girlfriend Sarah was part of the roundtable on Chelsea Lately, and one of my favorite bits she did was the "4 Types of Boyfriends To Avoid." It wasn't for the show Chelsea Lately, but it is pretty entertaining. She explains in her sardonic yet seemingly accurate way four types of dudes to, you know, avoid. I guess the title is pretty self-explanatory, but she's got loads of stuff like this up on Youtube. You can check out bits and pieces of her stand-up too, like when she talks about how she has trouble stopping herself from drunk texting even though she's 39 years old, and so she deleted someone's phone number from her phone in order to stop drunk-texting them only to go and find her phone bill later so she could drunk text them. Her new book coming out next year is called Has Anyone Seen My Pants? so you get the idea-- she likes the laughs. She's been a stand-up comedian for her entire career and recently taped a one-hour special.

Sarah also has a list of TV appearances under her belt. She's been on Scare Tactics, Days of Our Lives, Invasion, United States of Tara, Monk, Strong Medicine. All of these serve to impress Jon, as he's only appeared momentarily to punt the football on NFL Sunday and Monday Night Football, so his girlfriend Sarah once again outdoes him. Her career as a writer on Chelsea Lately really launched her, though, as she would tour with Chelsea and perform in places like Radio City Music Hall.

09/22/14

DeShawn Shead's girlfriend Jessica Martinez

 

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DeShawn Shead's girlfriend Jessica Martinez is soon to be his wife, after he proposed to her after the Seahawks victory over the Broncos yesterday. One has to wonder if DeShawn Shead still would have proposed to Jessica Martinez if the Seahawks had lost - and it almost happened, thanks to a valiant attempt by Peyton Manning.

Lots of other Seahawks players, including resident loudmouth Richard Sherman, were also out on the field at the 50 yard line, helping to capture the moment. The huge downside here, more for society as a whole than DeShawn Shead and girlfriend Jessica Martinez, was the fact that everyone took photos of the moment holding their phones vertically. When can we stop with this madness? TAKE PHOTOS HORIZONTALLY PEOPLE.

Jessica Martinez was born in Sammamish, Washington and now resides in Seattle. She hopes to someday become a lawyer. She is also half black and half mexican and proud of this.