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In the world of low-stakes sports reporting, finding out a little gem like the one about Larry English's girlfriend Nicole Williams is always odd. It was reported by Larry Brown Sports that Nicole folds Larry's underwear. What an odd, stupid thing to report on. Larry, do you have a mother complex, perhaps? Or maybe Nicole just digs folding underwear. Imagine if the question came up out of the blue from the paparazzi or whoever asked it, without context. "You're looking real nice today, Nicole, what are you up to today? Oh, that's cool; do you fold Larry English's underwear by chance?" Weird stuff comes out of peoples' mouths when they're talking to women as hot as Nicole.
Well let's get to the thing I've become obsessed with recently- the pre-draft measurables. Now, I know- Larry has been in the league for quite some time, but I wouldn't be talking about this if there weren't something to talk about. First off, he scored a 34 on the Wonderlic test. He's a linebacker, folks. He's supposed to be a drone hunter-killer, not a strategic wiz. For those of you who forgot, the Wonderlic test is supposed to tell people how good someone is at problem solving. Secondly, the dude jumped 36 inches for his vertical test. He's 6'2" and 255 pounds. What a monster. Imagine me, a 5'9" 160 pound guy, walking up to Larry English and telling him to his face that he has a mother complex. Maybe if I was wearing full protective NFL gear. I'd still get multiple bones broken, but it'd be less messy. I wouldn't sue him either; I know I had it coming.
I have to say: Nicole Williams is legit model material. Very beautiful woman. When you used to hear the word "model" in the late 80's (not 90's because of the weird grunge girl craze that happened in conjunction with grunge music taking over everyone's soul) this is the woman you would picture. Just a legitimately beautiful woman. She has the classy air about her too. Larry English knows he's lucky.
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You find out that the girlfriend you never met, but whose death you milked to help your Heisman campaign isn't a real human being. What do you do?
You go find someone more real than the chick that Catfished you, and begin dating her.
That's exactly the case when it comes to the new, real woman, claiming the title of Manti Te'o's girlfriend Alexande del Pilar. In the wake of the incredibly convoluted, confusing saga that is Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend Lennay Kekua word has sprung today that Manti Te'o moved on relatively quickly, and has been dating a new girl for months. Alexandra del Pilar is the lucky woman to replace the ghost of a woman Te'o never met, and is currently a student at St. Mary's College in South Bend, Indiana (Hey, did you know that Notre Dame is in South Bend???). Fascinatingly enough, it would appear that Manti Te'o actually met this woman, based on photographic evidence. What's truly shocking here is that he hasn't been screaming about it all over the world when this one in fact actually appears real. Probably not a good enough story to sink his media hooks in....
TMZ is reporting that the couple has been together for a couple months though have recently broken up (gee, I wonder what could have sparked that??). Reports suggest that del Pilar actually attended the BCS Title game where Te'o got absolutely exposed on the field (which was a truly delicious appetizer to him being exposed off the field 2 weeks later). You know, we should probably watch it, or his father might blacklist us like he did Honolulu Star Advisor after publishing a picture of Te'o getting crushed on the field by Alabama's Eddie Lacy. Because you know,... reporting the real news and photographic evidence to support real news is the real enemy of the Te'o family.
So this is where things get interesting. Does Te'o sack up, tell everyone a story that meshes with the timelines and facts that have been reported thus far,... or does he continue his trail of misdirection, confusion, and outright lies, even after the truth has been exposed (and before you sanctimonious Touchdown Jesus fans come screaming at us, remember that whether Te'o was the victim or not, he continued the lie publicly, in the press, for more than a month after receiving the alleged phone call revealing the truth on December 6th).
Despite the harsh tone of this post, we like Te'o. Maybe he was the victim, maybe he wasn't. That's not germane to this topic. Right now, we know that Manti Te'o was REALLY dating Alexandra del Pilar within the past month. Anything beyond that,... well there are a lot of opinions, facts and rumors for you to sort through. One final legitimate question - How do you think del Pilar felt hearing Te'o refer to Kekua as the true love of his life even after finding out the truth?
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UPDATE: 01/16/2013: Manti Teo's girlfriend Lennay Kekua - HOAX
The headlines have been unavoidable over the past couple hours in the wake of Deadspin's incredible post detailing the facts, myths, questions, and lies surrounding the relationship of Manti Te'o and girlfriend Lennay Kekua. We're not going to step on Deadspin's toes with all the details, because they earned this story, your click, and for that matter a click on one of their ads. They seriously earned it from all of us.
Through Deadspin's efforts, they were able to ultimately conclude that Lennay Kekua did not exist. In their expose, Deadspin unraveled the story by determining a myriad of parties involved in the deception. Among the individuals highlighted was a woman named Uilani Rae Kekua, whose online presence has mysteriously disappeared in recent days. PlayerWives.com had our own run in with the individual posing as Uilani Rae Kekua after receiving the following emails in rapid fire succession in the late hours of December 6, 2012:
11:02 PM, EST:
Please, on behalf of our family... Take down the page of our sister Lennay Lekua*. We ask that you please respect our privacy as we still mourn the loss of our sister. We trust that you understand. Thank you & God bless! If you have any further concerns or questions please e-mail @ email@example.com
*Our first sign that this may not be legit came at the misspelling of her own last name. Our eyebrows continued to raise at the email received minutes later:
11:17 PM, EST
Please take this page about Lennay down. Our family has already requested for the media to please respect our privacy and the memory of our Lennay. Please remove this page ASAP, thank you. -Kekua Family
Urgent requests to handle changes have come to us in the past, but rarely increasingly agitated emails within 20 minutes of the prior. Minutes later, we received a third email from her, which was an exact copy and paste version of the first email noted above. Our site requires a contact form to be filled out as well as a simple math problem to verify that you are a human being and not a spambot. The individual posing as Uilani had to enter the system three times, and fill out the form to submit these contact forms. It's very possible that the heat from Deadspin was getting strong, or the idea that the story of Lennay Kekua was about to get even bigger during the Heisman campaign and the perpetrators behind the hoax got scared.
All emailed responses to firstname.lastname@example.org went unreturned.
At the time of the emails this post was one of the first results on all search engines for the term "Lennay Kekua," which was the term this individual searched to arrive at our site. The emails in question came to us from an AT&T wireless device in Los Angeles, though further efforts to verify the emails have come up short, and no further information could be obtained.
More information will become available as this insane story continues to build.
For our frequent readers many of you know we try and introduce you to the wives and girlfriend's of athletes with as much of a humorous flair as possible. We don't take ourselves too seriously at this site but sometimes the situation dictates a more serious tone be taken; and when talking about the Manti Te'o's girlfriend Lennay Kekua and his grandmother, Annette Santiago, the tone is as respectful and serious as we can get.
For those not familiar with Manti Te'o, get familiar with him. Te'o is the stud, and I mean STUD, linebacker for Notre Dame who has vaulted himself into Heisman discussions. The Hawaiian native picked Notre Dame over about thirty other schools with one of the key factors being Charlie Weiss, the head coach at the time. Weiss agreed that Manti could take time off from school and the Fighting Irish program to fulfill a Mormon mission if Manti so chose. With Manti leading the team and Notre Dame currently sniffing around a national title (the first time this has happened in who knows how many years). It's very rare that a defensive player gets mentioned as a legit Heisman candidate, I can think of Ndamukong Suh, Tyrann Mathieu and Charlie Woodson as three, but Manti is deep in the discussions this year.
What makes Manti's year even more impressive is the personal turmoil he has had to deal with. On September 11th Manti received the news that his grandmother, Annette Santiago, had passed away. 6 hours later Manti's girlfriend, Lennay Kekua lost her battle with Leukemia. Yet through all of this, Manti did not miss a practice or a game. Now some might hear that and think that Manti put football ahead of his personal life, but in this case, those people would be wrong.
As Lennay started to lose her battle with Leukemia she asked for two things from Manti. One she wanted white roses when she passed away, and two, Manti could not miss anything football related. The way to honor Lennay's life would be for Manti to play on. And play on he did, turning in two games that thrust ND into the national championship picture but also Manti into the Heisman race.
And it should go as no surprise to anyone that Lennay had flowers at her funeral; white roses.
As more details of this story are revealed, we will note that the pictures above were found across various social media sites established and linked to either Lennay Kekua, or as memorials to Lennay Kekua.