Wil Myers' girlfriend Maggie Reaves posted a crazy picture last year of an exchange between her grandmother and a stranger via texting. Apparently they got Maggie's grandmother an iPhone, and she would text Maggie's sister every single morning to give her well wishes, but it wasn't her sister at all. It was the wrong number, and her grandmother thought the stranger was just joking when the stranger tried to tell her. What's funny to me is what a nightmare this must have been for the stranger, whose name was Alex. Every single morning you get a text like, "Good morning! Just one day 'til holidays! Happy times! Can not wait for a Lexie hug! Hope this has been a good week? Time to get up and get busy. --read this week-- satan chooses his followers from the idle, God chooses his followers from the busy! Love you much!" Holy jumpin' shitballs-- I would smash my phone.
Enough about Maggie's genius grandmother. Let's talk about Wil Myers' girlfriend Maggie Reaves and her Coors Light quest. The biggest thing Maggie tried to do recently was become the Coors Light Girl, and unfortunately she failed. Being Miss Coors Light is kind of a big deal for a model because it means you're in all the Coors Light commercials. The previous Miss Coors Light was a woman named Rachel Rupert. If Maggie had won, she would have replaced her this year, but some chick named Amanda Mertz won. During the course of people voting for her, Maggie started to make these kinda' funny photoshopped pictures to promote herself, but she only made one. It was a picture of herself about to take off and fly on a bicycle with E.T., and there was a Coors Light on the bike with them. I like the overall effort, Maggie, but you should've kept making them. You know what they say about Satan choosing his followers from the idle and all.
Other than the Coors Light quest, Maggie is generally just one of those happy-go-lucky blondes that smiles a lot and purveys an always-sunny perma-smile. She and Wil have been dating since high school, so I hope life continues to work out for them.
Do you guys remember there was a movie awhile back called "Failure To Launch"? It starred Mathew Mcconaughey (before he decided to be a good actor in good movies) and Sarah Jessica Parker (because it's important to use your middle name sometimes). Well, a recent article describing Tyson Ross's girlfriend Ashley Hoffman and her experience with him and his parents really reminds me of that premise. I never saw the movie, but it was about a guy who lived with his parents and never grew up. Up to very recently, Tyson Ross was still living with his parents at the age of 23, and so was Ashley. In an article from last year, Ashley described how Tyson's dad would say "goodnight, see you in the morning" every night when she would sleep over and called it "so weird." It is kinda' weird.
Now, it appears that Tyson Ross's girlfriend Ashley Hoffman lives with him in their own place. Ashley has tweeted pictures of themselves getting photographed in their new home. The whole reason they were living with their parents was because they hadn't yet had the time to find a new place to live after he arrived on his new team. It's just one of those funny details. Almost all of Ashley's tweets have to do with baseball. She seems to be a true fan. I get the sense she was into baseball even before she knew Tyson.
The funniest thing Ashley Hoffman shared by far was a picture of an ad in a magazine for personal lubricant. She said she felt offended looking in People Magazine and see the ad that read, "Get intimate with wet platinum. Imagine the possibilities!" Her tweet itself isn't funny, but imagining poor Ashley opening the gossip mag and seeing this in-your-face lube advertisement with a goofy tag line is pretty funny.
Matt Kemp's girlfriend Nchimunya Wulf may have a difficult and slightly unusual name, but she herself has a fairly remarkable personal history. Matt Kemp has dated both Rihanna and Khloe Kardashian, so I guess he's one of those guys who considers himself a "brand." I can't stand when people refer to themselves that way, and I don't think he's done that, but a quick glance at his Instagram gives you the vibe that he's constantly marketing himself. Or maybe I'm just jealous. Anyhow, let's focus on the lovely Nchimunya...
According to her website, Nchimunya was born in Zambia and raised in the Democratic Republic of Congo, Kenya, and Denmark. That is pretty intense. She moved to England to study music at Chichester College in West Sussex, and then she moved to Paris, and then once more moved to San Francisco in 1999. How's that for throwing a lot of travel in your face to show off? This lady has got the itinerary. Matt Kemp's girlfriend Nchimunya Wulf is now a professional designer, and I've got to say she has talent. I like her clothes, and they look good on Kemp and Kevin Durant (another client). Durant wore one of her slick blue suits on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Durant is one of the coolest dudes ever. As you might expect, a woman with this kind of pedigree has a pretty interesting Instagram account. She has a razor sharp visual sense, and all of her pictures are really tasteful. Man, it'd be pretty cool if everyone's Instagram account were like this. Her quotes are also really classy: "Don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith," "Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it," and "Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self." This is a talented artist, and Matt Kemp is a lucky fella'.