Los Angeles Dodgers Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)


JP Howell's wife Heather Howell

JP Howell's wife Heather Howell is a beautiful blonde lady who used to be a competitive track athlete for USC before she destroyed her body by jumping into Lake Tahoe after finishing a training run in the Sierra Nevadas. First off, when I read about this story at MLB.com, I was struck by the use of the phrase "traditional celebratory cliff-leap." Okay, I get that a lot of people jump 50 feet down into the lake, but if there's a chance that you can suffer compression fractures to your neck and back as Heather did, maybe they should cut that tradition? At least put a sign up next to the cliff that says "Warning: Extreme Trauma to Neck and Back Possible."

Well, JP Howell's wife Heather Howell apparently rehabilitated herself through fourteen grueling years, and now she's a successful children's author. She wrote a book called "Dangles" about a monkey. That's all that I know, and I don't think I'll be heading over to Amazon to read the summary of Dangles, sorry folks [Editor's note: Kids love fun names, and Dangles jumps to the top of that list.... I just bought it for my son. Carry on, author.] Other than having written about Dangles the monkey, Heather actually had a long career as a television sports reporter for FOX, and I watched a Youtube compilation of her doing her thing. Those Youtube compilation of hot broadcasters always kind of creeps me out because first of all who tapes news broadcasts? I'll just pretend the station put it together and not some person sitting at home with a Heather Howell shrine [Editor's note 2: Dude, they all have tapes to send out for future jobs.... I promise on the up and up].

Heather travels around a lot to watch JP at games, and when she's not at the games, she's at home watching with her dog Rose. Heather actually has a website about how she overcame losing her running career. It's an inspirational website about how to find focus for your life, and it's got good production value. It also doubles as her fan website for JP, so I guess Heather sees one productive and positive path as "find a boyfriend in pro sports, marry him, and you've found a solid path." But let's not downplay that Heather was once herself an Olympic hopeful in the 800M.


Kenley Jansen's Girlfriend Candace Cotton

Don't ever say that Kenley Jansen's girlfriend Candace Cotton doesn't have aspirations and activities on her side. The young lady not only runs her own bath & body bakery, but she also writes screenplays and directs short films. First, let's discuss what exactly a bath & body bakery is, because it's not the most intuitive thing, though it is just what it sounds like. She sells sweets and then she sells body stuff. This includes "cotton candy shaving cream," "coffee scrub," and "bubble gum body wash." Hey, if it sells, keep on doing it. There's actually a couple of creepy pictures of a woman with the scrub all over her, and I'd say it doesn't completely give a cleanly vibe, but it does illustrate how the product is used (in case someone doesn't know you have to literally scrub it onto your body).

The other activity that Kenley Jansen's girlfriend has spent a lot of time on is screenwriting and short film directing. She completed a short film called "What Goes Around" in 2013, and while the trailer I watched was not appealing, I applaud Candace for giving it a go. She concept of the movie was a romance and crime mystery set in 1942. One of the characters in the movie was Josephine Baker. I don't exactly know what Candace hoped to accomplish with her short film, but the trailer is full of old-timey tropes, so I think she was trying to capture that vibe. Anyway, she's recently posted a picture of a script she's written called "Twenty5." I read the opening first bits, and they include clips of the following items: pyramids, the back of a dollar bill, the statue of liberty, skull and crossbones, knights, freemasons hall, a picture of Adam Weishaupt, etc. So Candace seems to have a fascination with the Illuminati and secret organizations. She also seems to have a fascination with heavy-handedness?


AJ Ellis' Wife Cindy Ellis

AJ Ellis' wife Cindy Ellis has three kids, and the youngest one was delivered by none other than AJ himself. That's right, and not only that, but AJ delivered her in a moving automobile. It's sort of like one of those 90's goofball comedies that's supposed to appeal to families. You know, one with Robin Williams or Hugh Grant bumbling through stuff and getting into wacky situations.

Well, Cindy Ellis created "In Labor!" signs that she posted on the windows of the car as they were speeding along the freeway. How awesome is that? You can get away with driving like a GTA4 player when you've got those bad-boys on your windows. They were also using some kind of labor timing app to determine how far apart her contractions were happening. This was all happening in New York City at the time. This was also the first time AJ was present at the actual birthing process, as he'd missed his previous chillun's popping out of the ole' kidpipe both times.

Cindy's water actually broke on 79th Street in Manhattan, and they were on their way to the NYU Hospital which is located at 30th Street. That's sort of troubling because Manhattan, if you've never been, is a veritable stop-and-go breaking test along the avenues. For whatever reason, AJ's wife Cindy really could not keep that baby from coming. He figured that they'd have plenty of time, but as their trip continued, she got real close. He asked one traffic cop for help, was ignored, and then asked another. The second cop jumped in his cruiser and switched on the sirens. At that point her contractions were every fifteen seconds. You can guess what happened from there. By the time they pulled up to the NYU Hospital, Cindy's sister was assisting their baby's exit from Goop Canal, and a crowd had gathered to see the "car baby."

For a guy used to catching things for a living, this was no doubt the best catch in his family's history.