Kansas City Royals Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)

09/30/14

Wade Davis' Wife Katelyn Davis

 

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Holy lord this is wacky. Okay, so Wade Davis' wife Katelyn Davis had an accident, and then blogged about it. She wrote it for some blog called The Life of the Baseball Wife that is maintained by some other baseball wife, and it's since been made inaccessible. But I read a portion of it thanks to a site called raysindex.com.

So Wade and his wife Katelyn went out to some restaurant to celebrate something or other, and she ordered something weird. Now, I should just add that in the midwest, people basically have no idea what good food is, and all the restaurants are absolute garbage. Sorry, all midwesterners, but I've been to every state there and Kansas City is terrible for food. Anyway, on with the tale of woe: they ate at a place called Carrabba's, and she suffered from some really serious food poisoning. She explains that Wade was there in a "shortstop" position (hands on kneeds, ready to catch a grounder) trying to guide her through the immense pain she was feeling while she was agonizing on their bedroom floor. Then she explains how she let out her bowels, and that she wasn't really even aware of having to do so because of the pain.

Well, I feel bad for the 'ole gal. I myself have been food-poisoned a few times, and it sucks real bad. Wade's wife no doubt will never eat at a Carrabba's again. Food poisoning among young hot blondes is now the number one cause for shitting their pants. It even trumps seeing themselves in the mirror after they get a bad hair dyeing job. Wade's wife Katelyn is a cool chick who has done her part in charity events and benefits for the organization, and she deserves better than god-awful Kansas City sludge cuisine.

09/22/14

Eric Hosmer's Girlfriend Kimberly Figueroa

 

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Any time the Kansas City Royals maintain a winning record, I applaud and reassess the existence of a divine power. I mean, we're talking about the smallest baseball market in the United States. Eric Hosmer's girlfriend Kimberly Figueroa, knowingly or unknowingly, is by definition a supporter underdogs. I actually had a dream about the Kansas City Royals the other night, and in it the Royals somehow won the World Series. Proof that all dreams are utter nonsense. Let's get back to the lovely Kimberly...

Eric's girlfriend Kimberly works as a bartender in Florida and makes trips out to Kansas City on occasion. There's been some nasty posts and talk about Eric Hosmer flying other girls to see him play in Kansas when Kim isn't around, but we're merely going to mention that talk comes from thedirty.com and move on. The lady seems to be enjoying her life, and she's what I like to call an optimistic wristwatch, meaning she is worn on the wrist and has faith in more stability in the future. Her religious tweets are a little unexpected, but in the land of endless strip malls and insipid restaurants, it's about par for the course. She does have the occasional bright bit to add: "Grass isn't always greener on the other side it's green where u water it." Digging that, thanks Kim.

Being Eric's girlfriend in 2014 also means having a steady interest in his newly found contract. The man is now pulling in a cool 3.6 million bones after having found a real steady bump up from the previous year's net of $528,000. This is really good news, as young Eric and his girlfriend Kim are frequently out at night clubs with friends, dancing and popping bottles. I've been to Kansas City, and it doesn't exactly compare to Miami when it comes to night life.

04/11/13 (Updated)

Alex Gordon's wife Jamie Gordon

 

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We couldn't justifiably write this post and pretend to be saints. We've certainly had our fair share of posts where we were less than kind, though we certainly try to reflect facts, arguments, and opinions, while avoiding unnecessary name calling.

That, however, wasn't the case when it came to Alex Gordon's wife Jamie Gordon's interview on Dallas Sports Talk Radio, KTCK. After Jamie was unable to answer a couple relatively easy questions (Do you know who Yoko Ono is? for example), the board operator began playing a clip saying "stupid bitch." The hosts continued the interview and continued playing the clip, without ever apologizing to Jamie or letting her get in on the joke. As if the mean spirited interview wasn't enough, the Kansas City Royals public relations department demanded an apology from the hosts, who declined to apologize to Gordon directly. They did graciously agree to apologize to the PR staff as it was their job to pass it along as a liasion to the player.

Alex and Jamie Gordon have roots in Nebraska, both hailing from Lincoln. Each went to school at Nebraska and has decided to return to Lincoln to live and raise their children in the offseason. In an interview with Huskers.com, Gordon told them his reasons for returning to Lincoln:

Raising children is a full-time job. Her family lives in Lincoln and mine does, too. Lincoln has that home-town feel for both of us. When you grow up in Lincoln, it feels like home whenever you go back.

The couple has one son together, Max, who was born in September, 2010. Alex Gordon was the Royals 2012 Roberto Clemente nominee with each team having one representative nominated for the annual award for giving back. Unsurprisingly, Jamie is involved in a variety of charitable endeavors with the Royals Wives, including the annual Royals coat drive and working closely with adopt-a-pet.com for local pet adoption drives.