Baltimore Orioles Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)

10/10/14

Cal Ripken's Wife Kelly Ripken

 

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Cal Ripken's wife Kelly Ripken married the legendary baseball player back in 1987, and the couple are still keeping the love alive. Man, you've got to admire Cal Ripken. He's the Iron Man. You don't need me to tell you why he was awesome on the field. Go and Wiki him if you don't know. Before we talk about the lovely Kelly, I'd just like to add that Cal has written over 30 books. That is sort of nuts to me. When I learned that, I thought, "Does Ripken really have that much to say?" But hey, He's the Iron Man-- he's got a long streak of book writing going.

Okay, so about Ripken's wife Kelly. First of all, there's a goofy rumor that's existed since the late 90's that Kevin Costner allegedly had a relationship with Kelly and caused Cal to allegedly beat him up and say he wasn't going to play. The rumor continues that the entire Orioles administration was going to pretend they had a lighting problem so Cal could keep his streak alive. Sorry, but this is utter nonsense. I've got a really good nose for this kind of thing, and you can tell based on both Costner and Ripken's rebuttals regarding this rumor that it's bullshit.

So now that we have that out of the way, let's talk about the good work that Cal's wife Kelly did back in the late 90's instead of the made-up tripe. She gave $250,000 to Johns Hopkins to establish a special program to help treat thyroid disorders (apparently they suck big time). Kelly was a sufferer from something called Graves disease, which is caused from an overactive thyroid gland and basically makes you feel like you want to smash your face into a countertop. Her official statement regarding the gift was "By establishing this service and becoming an active participant and source of support, I hope to alleviate similar frustrations that other patients may be feeling." You've got to respect that.

10/07/14

Andrew Miller's Wife Katie Miller

 

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Andrew Miller's wife Katie Miller was another one of those "I getcha' 'cuz I lived it" types. She was a competitive soccer player at Duke. Apparently they get really competitive together whenever Duke and Andrew's alma mater North Carolina play. As detailed in ESPN's article, Andrew was not digging the vibe a few years back when Duke took UNC down in basketball. Andrew said, "But as hard as we try, that game was tough, I'll be honest with you. I wasn't in the mood to talk and hang out with her after the game. And she's not the nicest person in the world when Carolina wins." Geez, kinda' makes Katie sound like a jerk.

So now who is Katie Miller, really? Well, Andrew's wife Katie is now an official Baltimore resident, as she and Andrew have been shipped off unceremoniously to a team with a much higher chance of winning the World Series than Andrew's old team the Red Sox, who really stunk this year. I myself am a Red Sox fan, and it hurts. But that is neither here nor there. Katie Miller made Andrew cut his beard and his long hair when he was traded to said team, and she was never shy about not liking the style. Andrew himself kept the style alive for a number of years, but it was time to let it go, dude.

Since everybody in the media seems to make a big deal of this, I might as well elaborate a bit more about it. Not only is Katie a Blue Devil, but father is a Blue Devil. Her mother is a Blue Devil. Her brother is a Blue Devil. Imagine what it's like for Andrew to go over their house on a holiday when Duke is playing. If I were a competitive athlete, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

09/30/14

Buck Showalter's Wife Angela Showalter

 

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Buck Showalter's wife Angela is known as the manger's wife who was serenaded by three of the manager's players back in Texas. She's an old hand at appearing at charity events and benefits. At this particular event, her husband Buck was still managing for the Rangers, and if you're curious what kind of prize packages get auctioned off at these things, here's a brief listing: a trip to Seattle on the Rangers' team plane featuring a chauffeur ride in a Maybach and stay at the Rangers team hotel, a gold bracelet with 180 diamonds and personal chef service for a month, and a Toby Keith autographed guitar with two tickets to his performance and a "meet and greet." Suddenly getting sung to by 3 younger fellows isn't so great. Those are some killer prizes.

Buck's wife Angela married Buck back in 1983, and they've since had two kids who are now all grown up. Their daughter has the preposterous name of Allie St. Clair Showalter Robinson. She's in law school, and her name itself mirrors the style of most law firm names. Their son William Nathaniel Showalter has the same name as Buck, and Buck actually used to go by "Nat" when he was a player. Angela supported knew him all the way back then, and she supported him through his eight seasons in the Yankees minor league. He never played a day in the major league. God, that has got to sting. You know he wanted to. It's every player's dream. Angela would probably tell you now that life is peachy, and the couple is known for having three basset hounds that hang out on the couch with Buck and his dear old wife Angela.

Coincidentally, Angela's lovely daughter Allie-Saint-Clair-Showalter-Robinson (the girl of a thousand syllables) is attending the same law school as Courtney Britton, the inimitable Southern Methodist University, where dreams are made.