NHL Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)

05/22/14

Drew Doughty's girlfriend Nicole Arruda

 

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There’s a new laboratory where the luckiest people among us (hockey players) are allowed to go. Inside, they submit a list of characteristics and traits for a perfect girlfriend, and the laboratory creates her. Drew Doughty’s girlfriend Nicole Arruda is the product of this wonderful place. Smart, funny, beautiful, professionally active, and most importantly Canadian!

Nicole describes herself as a programmer and tech venue specialist. Seriously, this girl is a programmer? She also teaches young children. On her twitter feed, there’s a picture one of her students made of a sign that reads “this is the center of fun and happiness.” Yes, with Nicole Arruda as your teacher, it most certainly is. Another picture reads “what your Saturday night looks like when you sign up to babysit boys” and the picture is a stack of video games with a hashtag “call of duty time.” Suffice to say Drew Doughty is completely smitten with her. Nicole loves being with her girlfriends too, and you can tell they love her. Anyway, her charms have obviously worked me over, so let’s move on to Doughty and see if he’s worthy of this modern marvel of girlfriend robotics and engineering.

The fact is Drew Doughty is one of the best defensemen in the NHL. His stats may not necessarily reflect his value (although he did score 59 points his second year in the league at the age of 20). He plays close to 26 minutes per game. That’s one of the highest averages there is. Other than his +/- rating of 17, he offers a lot of intangibles to the Kings. He’s all over people on the defensive end. Is he worthy of Arruda-Bot 8000? Certainly not, but until Peter Parker swings into her life, he’ll do for now.

05/21/14

Jeff Carter's girlfriend Megan Keffer

 

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The big man in the middle, Mr. Jeffrey Carter. Jeff’s a known commodity. Get him on the ice, and he’ll make things happen. Jeff Carter’s girlfriend Megan Keffer is another one of those compassionate souls who help out dogs. There’s a lot of these ladies out there. I’m starting to think there’s a real correlation between women who date athletes and helping dogs. It’s a good thing though-- no complaints!

Megan’s also got a good sense of humor. In one of her Instagram pictures with Jeff sporting a beard and the two of them in bathing suits, the caption reads “Did u know less than 1% of the world can grow a ginger beard... So I'm pretty much dating a majestic unicorn.” Good ‘ole Majestic Unicorn, Jeff Carter. Jeff signed an 11-year deal for 58 million bucks. Eleven years. I didn’t even know contracts could be that long, and then I found out that such deals were outlawed in 2013 shortly after the collective bargaining agreement ended. Apparently a lot of players got some huge deals. I mean, eleven years is pretty damn far into the future. Jeff Carter will be rolling into the Staple Center in a flying car by the time that thing expires.

As a matter of fact, this whole ultra-long term contract thing got to be a bit of a farce. Teams were basically adding fake years onto the back of contracts in what the league called “an attempt to circumnavigate salary cap restrictions.” Look no further than the curious case of Ilya Kovalchuk, in which the New Jersey Devils offered him a 17-year deal for $102 million. You read that correctly: 17 years. The league told them in so many words “c’mon guys let’s get real here, ey?,” and so they instead signed him to a 15-year deal for about 100 million. Then, the guy ups and leaves just under $80 million on the table and goes back to play in Russia, which apparently he wanted to do all along. According to hockey folks in the know, the Devils are much better off because of it. If you can appear in something like this, you may not fit in the NHL.

Where were we? The Majestic Red-Beard and his plucky assistant. Megan’s definitely a cool girl, and she goes to as many of the games as she can. She watches her man with her little dogs (the small annoying kind that snap at strangers) whenever they play away games.

05/21/14 (Updated)

Mical Rozsival's wife Jana Roszival

 

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It’s every Czech’s dream to get drafted into the NHL, travel to wonderful Chicago, and skate around turning over the puck every once in awhile. Young, old, man, woman, skinny, fat, and everyone in between. They all look up to the starry Czech sky, and every constellation is the Stanley Cup. Okay, most of that’s not true, but it was true for one young man growing up in the late 80’s, listening to Murray Head and practicing dramatic skating moves. That man is Michal Rozsival, and Michal Rozsival’s wife Jana Rozsival watched him achieve NHL success.

Well, Mr. Rozsival may have made it to the big show, but he’d recently been yanked in the last couple games against the Wild, both of which the Blackhawks won. He was replaced by Sheldon Brookbank in these games. This was probably due to Rozsival’s -1 rating and turnovers. He’d been quoted in the Chicago Tribune as saying, “You want to be in, especially in the playoffs. Obviously (Quenneville) felt like this is something that's going to spark your team and I guess it did. We won two in a row and the series." He doesn’t need to worry now, because he played a good 17 minutes in the first win against the Kings. He managed to get 3 blocked shots and only one giveaway.

Jana herself is a housewife raising two kids. The fam recently took a trip to Prague to enjoy ridiculously cheap beer and walk around in Blackhawks jerseys in the summer. Fellow Czecher Michael Frolik is one of Michal’s pals, and he’s played with Michal on the Olympic team as well. Frolik is one of the only quality guys that’s reasonably young on the international squad. This may prove a problem for CR as all their best players age out of competition. Too many Pilsner Urquells destroy dreams.