PlayerWives.com

09/02/14
 

Petra Kvitova's Boyfriend Radek Stepanek

 

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Let's be honest, between Petra Kvitova and her boyfriend Radek Stepanek, the people are coming out to see Petra. The Czech started turning up the heat back in 2011 when she won at Wimbledon. Interestingly, she is still the first and only person born in the 1990's to win a Grand Slam. That's kind of weird isn't it? You'd think the young guns would be all over the big tournaments.

Petra's second Grand Slam was the Wimbledon again this year. She has a beastly overhand left and uses her six-foot frame like a slingshot. She's also been criticized by a Czech politician for moving to Monaco, a tax-free principality on the coast of France. The name of the politician is Stanislav Huml, and he's publicly said that she should be stripped of her citizenship for having listed Monaco as her place of residence in order to escape income tax. Looks like crafty Petra pulled one over on you, Stanislav, and I don't like your complaining and whiny attitude. Maybe her citizenship should be decided on a tennis court. Step right up and see what happens.

I'm sure Radek Stepanek plays and practices with Petra regularly. He was actually ranked as high as 8th in the world back in July of 2006, but now he's only a top 40 tennis player in the world. Unfortunately for the United States, nobody cares about tennis any more (according to the rankings). Our one saving grace is the marvelous Serena Williams, who continues to soldier on like a tennis terminator and crush everyone that stands in her path. It won't last forever, and when she's gone the US will have basically no one in men's or women's. Joe Posnanski has a great blog post that covers the downfall of American tennis, if anyone cares. Anyway, Radek used to date Martina Hingis and was engaged to her for awhile until they called it off in 2007. He has since nabbed the lovely Petra out of the 90's youth bin.

09/01/14
 

John Rocker's Girlfriend Julie McGee

 

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John Rocker's girlfriend Julie McGee is a spray-tan business owner and future Survival contestant. That's a lot of living right there. First of all, owning a spray-tan business is sort of like the Sopranos equivalent of "going straight." You're not committing any crimes, but your level of greasiness and low-brow practices continues unabated. Spraying on a tan is sort of baffling to me because it's very easily spotted and rarely improves one's looks. Let me be clear: I'm officially declaring war on the spray-on tan.

Now for this business of The Survivor Blood Vs. Water. Instead of classic single player competitive Surviving, we have couples vying for the million bucks. I don't know Julie, but the fact that she's dating Rocker means she's probably not very nice. Sorry, but I feel comfortable jumping to conclusions on this one. Rocker, though unapologetic, is an ignorant hick. The only thing attractive about the man are his big muscles and self-sure confidence. Confident jerks are the worst kind because their narcissism won't allow them to be dissuaded or even listen to reason. I'm really hoping Rocker and his girlfriend Julie "Faux Tan" McGee fail hard on Survivor. His comment on New York City (where I live) give me all sorts of license to hate him. His head is also too small for his body.

Enough stooping to the Rocker level. Let's talk a bit more about Rocker's girlfriend Julie McGee and her company. So the actual name of the business is True Glow Mobile Spray Tanning. There's a section on her site called "Face The Truth" in which she spews some facts about tanning beds and why they're a waste a time and unhealthy. I agree with her. I would've tacked on a paragraph about spray-tans being the ultimate waste of time, and that surely would not have jived with Her Royal Sprayness.


 

Derek Norris' Girlfriend Kristen Eck

 

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Derek Norris' girlfriend Kristen Eck is the perfect addition to the Technicolor world of the 21st Century Oakland Athletics, team of the future! She's got tastefully done purple and blue hair, she's beautiful, and she's spunky. She's also pals with Tina Milone, so you know she's cool. This happens a lot in wife and girlfriend circle amongst pro athletes. It's sort of like the wives in Goodfellas.

I have the perfect way to describe what Kristen looks like: she's a cross between a young Pamela Adlon and Karen Fillipelli. Nailed it, right? So Kristen is a hairstylist, and that explains the craftily cut mullet which Mr. Norris is known for. In a recent article in USA Today, Derek basically summarized Kristen's relationship to the mullet as something she puts up with and is cool about. He describes it as "back from the past, into the future," which is sort of apt considering mullets have been laying low for a long time. They mine as well rear their weird head now that it's 2014.

Derek's year with the A's has been great. You can't complain about a .305 batting average and 58 hits thus far. He's a good catcher with an arm, and I sort of think any catcher hitting above .270 is a bonus since good all-arounders are hard to come by. Like his teammates, Derek's an absolute steal at about $500,000 per year, which will of course rocket up as soon as he becomes a free agent. Them's the ropes. Your agent's helpless until you prove yourself and enter the market. I've said this about other Oakland supervalues-- Derek will probably be picked up by the Yankees at some point when he enters free agency, and then he'll start hitting .230 as soon as he dons the pinstripes. Seen it time and time again. According to baseballreference.com, he's not eligible to be a free agent until 2019, and the earliest that he'd be eligible for salary arbitration is 2016. Pretty sweet to be Billy Beane right about now.