St. Louis Rams Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)


Austin Davis' Wife Heather Davis



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Austin Davis' wife Heather Davis blogs about her marriage's "sin." Coincidentally, I wonder if putting the word "sin" in quotations makes me the Antichrist? Isn't it supposed to have profound weight and importance? Putting it in quotations kind of takes the bite out of it.

She describes a fairly unhappy first year or marriage with her husband where they were taking bread-making classes:

'We had spent our entire first year of marriage trying to do something that is totally impossible without God's grace and mercy and we didn't even realize it. We filled up our days with conversations about football, new decor for the house and what new things to try in our city. When at the root of our heart sat emptiness, confusion, doubt and depression.'

Bread-making classes, football, and doing new things in a new city! Sounds like a deluge of debauchery to me...

She prefaces her troubles by saying:

'Each marriage is different. But sin is the same. And everyone has it. In our case, sin has destroyed who we once were when we first met. The sin that lingered in our past crept in, in moments of loneliness and silence and began making us angry, short tempered and frustrated.'

Okie dokie artichokey. Well, not to worry-- she goes on to explain just who it is that dabs away those pesky spots of sin and who brings joy and happiness into that life of hers. Spoiler alert: it's Jesus...

'Preach! To Austin and I, this means we are obviously pretty crappy people capable of some pretty crappy things. We fail ourselves. We fail God. And there are things in our lives that are hurtful. But then there is JESUS. Horseback riding lessons and a bread making class will never fix our brokenness. But JESUS WILL!'

Alrighty then! We're back on track now, apparently. Phew. The capitalization is hers, by the way. Isn't she's embellishing a little here? She's sort of making it sound like they razed an entire town of infidels. She's going pretty hard on herself. I'm still not quite sure what the problem was. As you can tell, this lady really, really digs church. Here's the blog post. The strange, self-lacerating part is at the bottom. The beginning is the usual trifles about making breakfast and stuff. Maybe she wasn't getting the opportunity to go to church as much as she wanted? Why all the veiled talk about "not being the same people they were when they met?" Purely speculating, but does that mean they were both virgins, and having sex somehow made them crappy people? In the case of Prince Amukamara, it made him way better at football. Anyway, let's hope Austin's wife Heather doesn't wind herself up too much. We don't want her to lose her swagger.


Shaun Hill's Wife Ashton Hill



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There's not much I can tell you about Shaun Hill's wife Ashton Hill other than the two enjoyed one of the most white-bread weddings ever back in 2010. I watched their wedding video on Youtube, which is one of the only places you can catch a glimpse of the Kansas lady on the internet. The couple are now living in Osage Beach, Missouri, a good three hours outside of St. Louis.

As for their wedding video, I think Shaun's wife Ashton must have been too caught up in the excitement of being a newlywed to give it a critical, objective eye. In fact, this is a pervasive problem in the wedding cataloguing and documenting business. I feel Ashton and Shaun have been taken advantage of like countless other married couples. When you watch this terrible video, the production is good enough to mask the fact that there's almost no footage of the actual wedding. All we get are a couple of shots of them kissing and posing, and then the remaining 80% of it are faux-artsy shots of glasses, candles, tablecloths, and chandeliers. What a disappointment.

Ashton Hill, formerly Ashton Lawrence has been in the picture since Shaun's days back in Parsons, Kansas. Ashton graduated from Parsons High School in 2004, before heading to Missouri Southern State University. Ashton graduated MSSU in 2008 with a double major in marketing and business management. Following school, Shaun Hill's wife entered the business world, currently working in financial advising.

Shaun and his wife Ashton took a nice trip to New Zealand last year in the offseason. Apparently there was a fairly large earthquake that hit when they were there, and they weren't allowed to get their luggage from the hotel when they were leaving. I'm not exactly sure why this was (was the hotel about to tip over?) but Shaun has informed an interview that four months later they got their duffle bag shipped to them in the mail. When you look at this couple, you understand why that's about the extent of their interesting adventures. They're boring. Shaun himself looks more like an coach than a player. The personal life section of his wikipedia section is all about how he enjoys fishing. See what I mean? No wonder he married a hometown gal from Parsons.


Robert Quinn's Wife Christina Quinn



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Pro athletes can be strong, good-natured, generous people. Robert Quinn's wife Christina Quinn would no doubt agree because her husband Robert really seems to be that kind of guy. But like mere mortals, they aren't always lovers of reason. I would venture to guess that Christina Quinn's marriage to Robert does not come with a bailout contingency plan for Robert. That is, I don't think there's a prenuptial agreement. The reason I think that is because Robert is an adamant Christian, and his view of marriage runs in the traditionalist camp.

I wonder what his wife Christina thinks about Robert's view on evolution, since he's also a firm believer in Creationism. He posted a tweet about there being no evidence of evolutionary links between apes and humans. I could refer him to any number of Wikipedia pages on transitional fossils and paleontology, but I somehow think the blinders would go up. Anyway, let's focus on his lovely wife Christina, whom also goes by 'Tina. The two have a son who recently celebrated his birthday on the 20th of last month, and they enjoy what appears to be a very stable married life. They were only wed last year in March.

There's also a lot going on behind the scenes as it relates to wife Christina (formerly Christina White). In 2012, Robert was accused of defrauding his former agent of $300,000, but the agent also stated that Christina was part of a conspiracy to steer him out the door just before his signing with the Rams. According to Yahoo Sports, it goes even further:

'In addition to the alleged conspiracy, Carey has accused Fleming, Frankel, White and Austin of slander, unjust enrichment, client poaching and unfair methods of competition.'

I think what the agent is pissed off about is that Christina along with others convinced the pliable and easily influenced Robert to drop him even though he probably had a hand in getting him a great contract. Robert will probably throw up a tweet about there being no evidence found to support such claims.