NCAA Wives and Girlfriends (WAGS)

10/30/14

Karlos Williams' Girlfriend Miranda Wilhelm

 

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Karlos Williams' girlfriend Miranda Wilhelm is trying to call off investigations into a domestic battery complaint involving her and Karlos. As you might imagine, this is really bad PR for Florida State, as the school has been riddled with these issues recently. There have been three separate Flordia State starters to be accused of spousal abuse in the past two years. I don't really know how to respond to that. Can we just not hit the ladyfolk, please?

Mirana made a statement on Instagram with pictures explaining how she suffers from abuse, and she includes shots of welts and bruises. It's important to know that Karlos Williams was never mentioned by name. Here is the statement:

Domestic violence is NEVER okay. I have learned why women keep secrets and [are] scared to come forward. I'm ashamed to say I did the same thing but I am ready to speak up for women in situations like myself. I pray one day everyone sees your true colors and for what you really are. This was done to me 2 nights ago by a man I lived with for two years and bared two children by. Hopefully therapy will help you one day fix this and your sons never even work their hands to hurt a woman, mind you a pregnant woman to this extent.

The battery complaint report was not filed by her, and she told everyone she'd never spoken with the police. She has since deleted her Instagram account, and we already know she's asking police to stop investigations;  they rarely do in cases like these, as I understand it. We can postulate that one of her friends or family members saw her Instagram post and made a call to police on behalf of Wilhelm. You'd like to think there's a Larry David-type situation that explains all of this-- you know, she'd been to a really intense masseuse that gave her bruises, and she was playing a joke over Instagram. Sadly, that seems highly unlikely. I'm curious to see where this goes.

The status of their relationship is unclear at this time. There are conflicting reports suggesting they have split, while others indicate they are still together.

10/27/14 (Updated)

Justin Brent's Girlfriend Lisa Ann

 

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Justin Brent's girlfriend Lisa Ann is a pornographic film actress, and apparently she is an actress of the first stripe. She is reported to be the most popular porn star in the world, as a matter of fact. Now, Justin is a freshman at Notre Dame, which means he is no more than 18 years old. Lisa Ann is a senior at the University of Vivid Entertainment, and she is 42 years of age. The Cougar has pounced, folks.

You can get a sense for Lisa's love of football from her Twitter and Instagram feeds. She is a big Eagles fan, as she was born in Easton, Pennsylvania, and she goes to football games every now and again. She also plays a good deal of fantasy football, and she's quite serious about it judging from her constant updates on Twitter. As a matter of fact, Lisa is a big sports fan in general. She's got a signed Michael Jordan basketball that was given to her as a gift by some dude on the SWAT team in Miami. I'm guessing he was hot for teacher. Well, Justin Brent can now say that Lisa Ann is his girlfriend, and no signed basketball was necessary since she approached him. TMZ reported they were both traveling, and she gave him her number.

Man, how weird would it be if Justin decided to marry his girlfriend Lisa? Lisa is most famous for acting in a porno flick called Who's Nailin' Paylin?. In the movie, Lisa is apparently a dead ringer for a sexed-up Sarah Palin, and she gets it on with other powerful political figures played by other porn actresses. The film was a big success, and subsequent sequels followed. Interestingly, way back before Lisa became a porn actress, she was on the Howard Stern show as a "Snapple Girl" on Stern's channel 9 show. A Snapple Girl was basically just a girl holding Snapple bottles as a sponsor for the show. Lisa appears to have a much larger nose in the YouTube clip I found, but let's not get all Rene Zelweggery about that. Little did anyone know she'd soon be able to professionally hold more than just a Snapple bottle.

10/06/14

Trevor Knight's Girlfriend Kate Williams

 

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She's hot. That's what you've got to know about Trevor Knight's girlfriend Kate Williams. They also look strangely like brother and sister. Their facial structures are dead similar. Man, what a freaking scandal that would be. I can see the headlines now, "Sooners QB unwittingly dates sister." They do look like Barbie was hittin' up the chemistry set in the insemination lab, though.

The news of Trevor Knight's girlfriend-having abilities broke recently after Katy Perry basically said she wanted to jump some youngin' bones (Mr. Knight was born in 1993, while Perry was born in 1984). It ain't happenin' because Trevor is really digging on his girlfriend Kate Williams. Kate herself is studying chemical engineering at the University of Oklahoma (where Trevor also goes). The media is laughing about Perry putting a hex on Trevor because he apparently sucked in the game she was broadcasting at with the old badgers that do College Gameday on ESPN.

I've been perusing Kate's Twitter feed. I have to say, she does have a sense of humor, but I've seen her kind before, and she's the religious type. She's the kinda' gal that likes to ruin a perfectly good Twitter feed with some gibberish like "If you're breathing, God has a plan for you," and "Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Barf, yack, vomit. Thanks for the words of wisdom, blonde 20 year-old who's grown up in a sheltered sphere of Midwestern dogma. Where would I be without your regurgitative reminders that I shouldn't trust in my own understanding and reasoning? Anyway, Kate means well. She actually does a decent job of evening out the garble with tweets like "Am I excited for Spring Break? Today I put face wash on my tooth brush. Does that answer your question?" Indeed it does, young Kate. You are certainly excitable and impressionable.