03/02/2012: Hallelujah! I’m genuinely excited for this news
We got word from a reader named Jessica letting us know that in no way shape or form is Ahmad Bradshaw dating Angelina. Ahmad Bradshaw is currently dating a woman named Jessica Marcus, whom he has apparently dated for the better part of a decade. They both attended Graham High School in Bluefield, VA, though Ahmad was two years ahead of her. The reader also told us that Jessica was at the Super Bowl with Ahmad, and that the couple has two children together.
Best part of the email we got? The reader didn’t use any racially ignorant terminology when describing their relationship. Stay classy, and keep inserting yourself in stories you’re not a part of, Angelina.
Poor Ahmad Bradshaw.
It’s strange to write those words. As a crestfallen Patriots fan, it really seems out of place to feel bad for any player on the Giants, but I think everyone will agree that no Giants player (well, save for maybe Brandon Jacobs), would deserve the fate of this:
It would appear that world champion Ahmad Bradshaw either dated at one time, or is currently dating Angelina from Jersey Shore. Yes, the Staten Island Dump. Yes, the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island, Yes, Angelina Pivarnick,… that Angelina.
Within the last month, a picture surfaced of the two in a New York club that suggested a close friendship at the very least. From TMZ.com (and seriously… that broad gets followed by the paparazzi???):
Angelina was at Saddle Ranch in L.A. yesterday … when we asked point blank if they were together … and we were met with an uncomfortable silence … followed by, “I’m not dating him … like, no.”
Pivarnick explained, “We’ve hung out together … we’re really close, he’s a cool dude.”
“I think he’s a hot black … I’m not gonna deny that. I would be lying if I told you he wasn’t hot.”
So where do we begin here? Do we begin with the lack of media savvy to know that if you want to deny a relationship, you don’t start with an awkward pause, or that you hyperfocus on a verb indicating that a verb other than “dating” would explain your relationship? Do we ask how they’re so close after “hanging out?” Or, do we look at the fact that she actually uttered the phrase, “I think he’s a hot black.” I’m not saying she’s a racist, but that’s a messed up way to end that sentence. Don’t feel like tacking the word “guy” on the end of that? It just seems odd and borderline inappropriate,… but then again, I suppose that sums up her 14:59 of fame. It’s almost over folks…. Trust us.
For added fun, we included the worst song in the history of songs,… called “I’m Hot,” by utterly and continuously awful Angelina.