Ladies, you need a written confirmation from Johnny F-Bombs to use the word “girlfriend” when speaking about your relation to him. We’re generally intelligent enough to infer that if you take a girl to venue after venue, event after event, game after game, carnival after carnival, and eating contest after eating contest, she’s your girlfriend. However, Johnny Manziel’s “girlfriend” Colleen Crowley has not yet gotten the paperwork in her mailbox from Johnny’s people. She’s your prototype blonde edgy internet trophy, so you know he’s interested. You’ve seen’em before, and you know they’re a hot commodity among young sports stars. Johnny-boy is sort of like the comic book sports star archetype. If you were writing a graphic novel, and you needed a character to play the quarterback, you’d likely draw him intuitively.
Manziel and Crowley have been spotted at pretty much every party and club. It’s inferred now that they’re a couple, though I would venture to guess that neither one has stated their feelings towards the other. You get a vibe like they’re test-driving each other. It’s a shame Johnny didn’t stick with Chantel Jeffries. She seemed way more adventurous than Colleen, but how could mortals like us really know? We don’t excel at the art of conversation like Johnny does. Either that, or we just don’t throw a football as well and get as many headlines.
Now if Colleen Crowley looks and sounds familiar, then you’re more astute than we are. Colleen Crowley’s sister is Robyn Crowley,… who also happens to be the smokeshow, fun loving girlfriend of NBA star Chandler Parsons.
A brief recap on Manziel (in case you’ve been retreating to a cave whenever collegiate football and the NFL draft were mentioned in the past few years)– he was the first freshman to ever win the Heisman, he had a sky-high passer rating and threw a gaggle of touchdowns. What I find interesting these days about Johnny is that he’s quite a bright fellow, having scored a 32 on the Wonderlic cognitive ability test. The Wonderlic is meant to assess your problem-solving and learning ability, with an average score of about 20 and a possible perfect score of 50. Only one player in the history of the NFL got a 50. His name is Pat McInally, and he’s sort of a genius. Johnny scored a 32, which is indeed nothing to sneeze at. It’s very high. Apparently, you don’t want to score too high on the Wonderlic because coaches will think you’ll have a tendency to challenge authority and undermine their decisions. Being a smartypants in the NFL makes the higher-ups insecure. You want to hit that sweet spot just like Johnny Football. Am I right, Colleen?