Before I get to deep into this post, let's start out with something very important: I don't know who Michael Wacha's girlfriend is. Hell I don't even know if Michael Wacha even has a girlfriend. Honestly, if I were in his shoes - 22 year-old ALCA MVP pitching in the World Series on the biggest stage of his life - I absolutely wouldn't have a girlfriend. No way, no how.
Michael Wacha is from Texarkana, TX and attended Texas A&M, a notorious hotbed of college hotties. Judging solely off of his Facebook photos, we feel pretty confident saying that Michael Wacha did very well for himself during college. He probably did have a girlfriend at some point and will have a wife at some point, but from my deep Internet sleuthing I can tell you that it certainly doesn't look like he has either one right now.
As a Red Sox fan, I also want to put out a request to all the young ladies of Boston. Please, please, please do what you need to do to get him off his game. Distract him by any means necessary. Based on the first four innings of Game 2, we certainly can't afford to go through a pitching performance like this again this series.