John Rocker’s girlfriend Julie McGee is a spray-tan business owner and future Survivor contestant. That’s a lot of living right there. First of all, owning a spray-tan business is sort of like the Sopranos equivalent of “going straight.” You’re not committing any crimes, but your level of greasiness and low-brow practices continues unabated. Spraying on a tan is sort of baffling to me because it’s very easily spotted and rarely improves one’s looks. Let me be clear: I’m officially declaring war on the spray-on tan.
Now for this business of The Survivor Blood Vs. Water. Instead of classic single player competitive Surviving, we have couples vying for the million bucks. I don’t know Julie, but the fact that she’s dating Rocker means she’s probably not very nice. Sorry, but I feel comfortable jumping to conclusions on this one. Rocker, though unapologetic, is an ignorant hick. The only thing attractive about the man are his big muscles and self-sure confidence. Confident jerks are the worst kind because their narcissism won’t allow them to be dissuaded or even listen to reason. I’m really hoping Rocker and his girlfriend Julie “Faux Tan” McGee fail hard on Survivor. His comment on New York City (where I live) give me all sorts of license to hate him. His head is also too small for his body.
Enough stooping to the Rocker level. Let’s talk a bit more about Rocker’s girlfriend Julie McGee and her company. So the actual name of the business is True Glow Mobile Spray Tanning. There’s a section on her site called “Face The Truth” in which she spews some facts about tanning beds and why they’re a waste a time and unhealthy. I agree with her. I would’ve tacked on a paragraph about spray-tans being the ultimate waste of time, and that surely would not have jived with Her Royal Sprayness.