Alright, let’s take ourselves a little break from the mayhem of self-obsessed models who can’t stop taking the same picture of themselves and their finely tuned body parts for a second. It’s time for a little session of under-par golf chicks. That’s right, folks, let’s rev up those curious peepers and get ready to leer at Brian Harman’s girlfriend Kelly Van Slyke.
This is exactly the type of chick who you guys should be digging because she, you know, does something. She has a job and contributes stuff to the world. She’s a…..radiation therapist. So yeah: she blasts people with radiation. Now, I admit, that doesn’t sound so nice, but I assure you radiation has its uses– such as mass destruction. But no, wait, she’s not hurting anybody. She’s just a fan of blasting radiation at people in order to assuage their troubles. Okay, so I have no idea what radiation therapy is. I looked it up and it’s a form of oncology like I thought. Brutal. Well, she’s a beautiful woman, and that always helps male patients. She should lie about being engaged to Brian and let the patients dream a little dream.
Brian Harman irradiates the golf lynx. Two days ago he took the top spot at the John Deere Classic and netting himself some cash and a spot at the British Open. I watched some of the highlights of his performance, including his birdie shot on the 9th hole. I’ll tell you what I think is oddly therapeutic– the ambient background noise you hear during a player’s putt. The silence in golf is soothing because it gets slowly replaced with excitement and whoops as the golfball nears its mark. In the case of the 9th hole, he indeed hit the shot. Spend another few thousand on the upcoming wedding, Brian. Kelly is pumped.